A young, newly married Catholic influencer who shares a lot about how marriage is so very important — maybe the most important thing a woman can do! — recently also shared an apologetic little post on the single life including advice such as “don’t wallow; I was single too! so what are YOUR thoughts?”
I typed out a furious rage-response to her post (which by the grace of God I deleted before posting) along the lines of “My thoughts are that this FORTY YEAR OLD SINGLE WOMAN is NOT INTERESTED in CONDESCENDING ADVICE about SUCKING IT UP from a MARRIED TWENTY-SOMETHING!!!!!!!”
From you, though, it is helpful and soothing balm to the Valentine’s-Day-wounded soul.
This can’t be easy to share at all and I’m thankful for your and Chris’ commitment to do so when you feel it’s the right thing to do. So thankful that you have each other fully now 🩵 I also love how you mention sacramental graces extending backwards in time. That’s such a beautiful and encouraging gift to meditate on.
It is not fun to read! I still have a hard time hearing this story without wanting to scream. And it is a testament to my lack of charity and holiness. But! I think it is such a crazy thing that truly the love story happens after you're married, and I never expected that and no one ever tells you that! So in other words I am very happy for your love story now, and I really hope Chris says a prayer of thanksgiving every single day that you stuck around...because....ho boy....
I will say this, for those who really struggle with this story, listening to the podcast you linked where Chris shares what was going on from his point of view was VERY helpful to me to really get the whole picture (not that such a thing is owed to me at all). I enjoyed hearing him speak very much - his voice and perspective gave me a greater insight into the man you married, and why you stuck around. Thank you for sharing this very private struggle.
I enjoyed listening to the podcast interview with Chris. I appreciate you and Chris’ willingness to share the painful and messy parts of your journey. I’m married to a man who had also been through a couple of broken engagements. Although our pre-marriage journey wasn’t as long, engagement was very difficult for him. The struggles and insecurities don’t immediately go away just because you meet “the one.”
I always appreciate your emphasis on discernment. Your discernment looked different than that of others, and that’s a good thing. There’s no cookie-cutter way, as much as some Catholics would want to have us think there is.
Wow! Powerful story with many twists and turns. Younger me would never have had the patience but older me knows there are absolutely things and people worth waiting for. Of course, I now have the benefit of decades of bearing witness to much evidence of divine intervention, though it is really not intervention as much as it is listening and learning how to trust what you hear. 🙂 I believe strong marriages and love that lasts spring not from fairy tales but do start with a story. And yours is one for the ages!
I am so glad things worked out how they did for you. I too, married my Chris (his real name) after a long, winding and ambiguous (most apt word!) courtship. Five years to your ten but still…not fun. It’s hard to retell in evangelical circles where most were celebrating milestone double digit anniversaries and smiled with a single, raised eyebrow (were they thinking “what is wrong with them? Why were they so clueless?”) at our newlywed status. Here to say though, the love has endured and will continue to by the grace of the One who brought us together. Wishing you much sweetness with your Chris! They are so special.
I used to read your blog back when you were not married/newlyweds/etc. I found this very stressful to read! And then I listened to the podcast and found that stressful too. I'm so happy that you came out the other side and it worked out.
A young, newly married Catholic influencer who shares a lot about how marriage is so very important — maybe the most important thing a woman can do! — recently also shared an apologetic little post on the single life including advice such as “don’t wallow; I was single too! so what are YOUR thoughts?”
I typed out a furious rage-response to her post (which by the grace of God I deleted before posting) along the lines of “My thoughts are that this FORTY YEAR OLD SINGLE WOMAN is NOT INTERESTED in CONDESCENDING ADVICE about SUCKING IT UP from a MARRIED TWENTY-SOMETHING!!!!!!!”
From you, though, it is helpful and soothing balm to the Valentine’s-Day-wounded soul.
Thank you again.
…..
This can’t be easy to share at all and I’m thankful for your and Chris’ commitment to do so when you feel it’s the right thing to do. So thankful that you have each other fully now 🩵 I also love how you mention sacramental graces extending backwards in time. That’s such a beautiful and encouraging gift to meditate on.
It is not fun to read! I still have a hard time hearing this story without wanting to scream. And it is a testament to my lack of charity and holiness. But! I think it is such a crazy thing that truly the love story happens after you're married, and I never expected that and no one ever tells you that! So in other words I am very happy for your love story now, and I really hope Chris says a prayer of thanksgiving every single day that you stuck around...because....ho boy....
I will say this, for those who really struggle with this story, listening to the podcast you linked where Chris shares what was going on from his point of view was VERY helpful to me to really get the whole picture (not that such a thing is owed to me at all). I enjoyed hearing him speak very much - his voice and perspective gave me a greater insight into the man you married, and why you stuck around. Thank you for sharing this very private struggle.
I enjoyed listening to the podcast interview with Chris. I appreciate you and Chris’ willingness to share the painful and messy parts of your journey. I’m married to a man who had also been through a couple of broken engagements. Although our pre-marriage journey wasn’t as long, engagement was very difficult for him. The struggles and insecurities don’t immediately go away just because you meet “the one.”
I always appreciate your emphasis on discernment. Your discernment looked different than that of others, and that’s a good thing. There’s no cookie-cutter way, as much as some Catholics would want to have us think there is.
Wow! Powerful story with many twists and turns. Younger me would never have had the patience but older me knows there are absolutely things and people worth waiting for. Of course, I now have the benefit of decades of bearing witness to much evidence of divine intervention, though it is really not intervention as much as it is listening and learning how to trust what you hear. 🙂 I believe strong marriages and love that lasts spring not from fairy tales but do start with a story. And yours is one for the ages!
I am so glad things worked out how they did for you. I too, married my Chris (his real name) after a long, winding and ambiguous (most apt word!) courtship. Five years to your ten but still…not fun. It’s hard to retell in evangelical circles where most were celebrating milestone double digit anniversaries and smiled with a single, raised eyebrow (were they thinking “what is wrong with them? Why were they so clueless?”) at our newlywed status. Here to say though, the love has endured and will continue to by the grace of the One who brought us together. Wishing you much sweetness with your Chris! They are so special.
I used to read your blog back when you were not married/newlyweds/etc. I found this very stressful to read! And then I listened to the podcast and found that stressful too. I'm so happy that you came out the other side and it worked out.