Lovely list! Except now I'm going to add your mildewed books to things I have anxiety about in the middle of the night. And when we talk in person let's have a five hour discussion about A Severe Mercy and whether or not I'm a psychopath because it didn't make me cry.
And I need a beef curry recipe so badly, I'm making that next week!
I was wondering where you would go with A Severe Mercy, but I should have trusted you; I agree that Lewis’ letters were the best part of the book. Otherwise, I thought Van’s marriage was not an altogether healthy or good relationship and didn’t like the book. Really, I didn’t like Van as a narrator, but I do admire his humility in including Lewis’ admonishments and corrections to him and admitting that his marriage had become an idol.
I had the same reaction…I nearly groaned when I saw it on her list. When Van’s reaction to Lewis’s loving correction about how foolish it was to refuse children, to deny Davy motherhood, and emasculate himself was something like “Do you expect a mea culpa, dear reader? Because you won’t get one. I stand by that decision with the most virulent of stubbornness” I really nearly threw the book across the room. But my goodness, those Lewis letters ARE extraordinary.
Davy did actually have a baby she put up for adoption when she was 14! Van was able to find her eventually & that was a very sweet story. Well-Read Mom included his essay about it in their companion guide last year. I can’t find it free online unfortunately but it was called the “Little Lost Marion.”
She did have a baby, but Lewis didn’t know that at the time. And they did deny her the chance to be a mother, to actually live out motherhood in day to day life. As well as deny Van the chance to be a father. He came to regret it profoundly. It is one of the great flaws in their marriage, and one of the reasons I think their story is so instructive. The essay is actually in a book called The Little Lost Marion and other Mercies. I just went to get the link and it is out of print. (Apparently the copy I have is worth a fortune. 🤣) https://amzn.to/4hJWlBT
Exactly what Emily said. Lewis didn’t know it at the time and his words to Van were really pointed. The fact that she’d had a baby as a teenager and never saw her again did not correct the horrible flaw of their marriage. In denying one another even the potentiality of parenthood, they were withholding themselves from one another in a really fundamental way. Lewis even said something like, “Did you want her to feel like she was ‘being with’ another woman?” in reference to the intentional sterility of their marriage. Not all married couples WILL be natural or adoptive parents, but it’s still wrong to withhold the life-giving potential from one’s spouse.
I wasn’t honestly sure if Van really did regret it though. He wrote A Severe Mercy in 1979 and wrote then that he still wasn’t sorry.
I did read “Little Lost Marion” and it was profoundly sad to realize that only as an old man did he realize what he never had with Davy AND also that Davy never got to see Marion again.
Oooooh we own three copies of Ralph Martin’s book (I think my husband is as obsessed with books as you, we also have a tremendous number of boxes of books in storage both in Ave Maria and in Canada) and I am now very motivated to finally finish reading it. Thank you Emily!
Thanks for sharing the beef curry recipe. Delicious! I had to buy some garam masala but had everything else on hand. What a great way to use up the cilantro that I usually end up throwing out after only using a handful of leaves for tacos or pico de gallo. I also added carrots in with the onions.
Can I also say how considerate it is when food bloggers include the amounts in every step of the recipe? Who the heck wants to keep scrolling back up to the ingredient list? 😅
Wow, I must admit I am surprised to see negative reactions to A Severe Mercy. I did know about his later conversion to Catholicism and Davy's baby before reading, though.
I had a major reversion to Catholicism after marriage, and my husband has not, so perhaps I was more sympathetic to the struggles of Vanauken. I know my husband struggles with the memory of our own version of the pagan love.
I am happy to see there are a number of books I have not heard of/read, though! I echo the sentiment that this is a very expensive post :)
This is my most expensive "Through a Glass Darkly" post yet. [Adds all to cart.]
Lovely list! Except now I'm going to add your mildewed books to things I have anxiety about in the middle of the night. And when we talk in person let's have a five hour discussion about A Severe Mercy and whether or not I'm a psychopath because it didn't make me cry.
And I need a beef curry recipe so badly, I'm making that next week!
"Goodnight Moon" is lovingly referred to in our home as "Hush", dubbed so by our now-9-year-old when she was just about 14 months old 💛.
I was wondering where you would go with A Severe Mercy, but I should have trusted you; I agree that Lewis’ letters were the best part of the book. Otherwise, I thought Van’s marriage was not an altogether healthy or good relationship and didn’t like the book. Really, I didn’t like Van as a narrator, but I do admire his humility in including Lewis’ admonishments and corrections to him and admitting that his marriage had become an idol.
I had the same reaction…I nearly groaned when I saw it on her list. When Van’s reaction to Lewis’s loving correction about how foolish it was to refuse children, to deny Davy motherhood, and emasculate himself was something like “Do you expect a mea culpa, dear reader? Because you won’t get one. I stand by that decision with the most virulent of stubbornness” I really nearly threw the book across the room. But my goodness, those Lewis letters ARE extraordinary.
Davy did actually have a baby she put up for adoption when she was 14! Van was able to find her eventually & that was a very sweet story. Well-Read Mom included his essay about it in their companion guide last year. I can’t find it free online unfortunately but it was called the “Little Lost Marion.”
She did have a baby, but Lewis didn’t know that at the time. And they did deny her the chance to be a mother, to actually live out motherhood in day to day life. As well as deny Van the chance to be a father. He came to regret it profoundly. It is one of the great flaws in their marriage, and one of the reasons I think their story is so instructive. The essay is actually in a book called The Little Lost Marion and other Mercies. I just went to get the link and it is out of print. (Apparently the copy I have is worth a fortune. 🤣) https://amzn.to/4hJWlBT
Exactly what Emily said. Lewis didn’t know it at the time and his words to Van were really pointed. The fact that she’d had a baby as a teenager and never saw her again did not correct the horrible flaw of their marriage. In denying one another even the potentiality of parenthood, they were withholding themselves from one another in a really fundamental way. Lewis even said something like, “Did you want her to feel like she was ‘being with’ another woman?” in reference to the intentional sterility of their marriage. Not all married couples WILL be natural or adoptive parents, but it’s still wrong to withhold the life-giving potential from one’s spouse.
I wasn’t honestly sure if Van really did regret it though. He wrote A Severe Mercy in 1979 and wrote then that he still wasn’t sorry.
I did read “Little Lost Marion” and it was profoundly sad to realize that only as an old man did he realize what he never had with Davy AND also that Davy never got to see Marion again.
Woman is on my reading list for soo long, bit scared that it will be too philosophical 🫣
Me too! I’ve tried picking it up once or twice but never read more than a few pages. 😂
Thank you for this list, Emily! I love reading about your favorite books. I'm happy for you being reunited with them.
As a CS Lewis fan, how'd you like the movie Shadowlands? Reading your thoughts on his books makes me want to watch it again!
Oooooh we own three copies of Ralph Martin’s book (I think my husband is as obsessed with books as you, we also have a tremendous number of boxes of books in storage both in Ave Maria and in Canada) and I am now very motivated to finally finish reading it. Thank you Emily!
Thanks for sharing the beef curry recipe. Delicious! I had to buy some garam masala but had everything else on hand. What a great way to use up the cilantro that I usually end up throwing out after only using a handful of leaves for tacos or pico de gallo. I also added carrots in with the onions.
Can I also say how considerate it is when food bloggers include the amounts in every step of the recipe? Who the heck wants to keep scrolling back up to the ingredient list? 😅
Wow, I must admit I am surprised to see negative reactions to A Severe Mercy. I did know about his later conversion to Catholicism and Davy's baby before reading, though.
I had a major reversion to Catholicism after marriage, and my husband has not, so perhaps I was more sympathetic to the struggles of Vanauken. I know my husband struggles with the memory of our own version of the pagan love.
I am happy to see there are a number of books I have not heard of/read, though! I echo the sentiment that this is a very expensive post :)
Some titles I know, and many I don’t. Great list! 📚