“Maybe that’s another way we honor them: by not giving up, by praying and sacrificing and trying again and again and again to repair what has been broken.”
Oof… this has hit something inside me. It’s such a nuanced balance of acceptance of where and who they are… repair in the way that we want might not be possible. And that can add even more pain. But, we do keep going! And surrendering! And this might just be another (?) cross that we are to carry in order to follow our Lord.
Also, I’m always so so grateful for your adoption reflections, Emily! Thank you for such great insights and letting us enter into that very special part of your world. ❤️
Here to agree, like so many others, that the fourth commandment is so hard! Your nuanced approach is always so appreciated. I’m currently reading Children of Emotionally Immature parents- it’s been interesting. If you’ve read it, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Excellent book. The author is obviously not approaching the subject from a Catholic/Christian perspective, but I’ve found that when I implement her suggestions letting go of my “healing fantasies” and being an “objective observer” when I interact with my parents, I’m much more able to maintain my composure and obey the 4th commandment.
I appreciate your insight! I completely agree with you on the author’s perspective, and at points the “your emotional truth” come across as… liberal? But overall, the book does have some interesting takeaways that I’m interested in trying to implement as well. I’m grateful to hear they have been a help to you!
I have this book ready and waiting to go on my kindle, so it's great to see some positive recommendations of it. I'm really hoping it will help me achieve some peace and clarity, and a productive way forward, with my extremely difficult relationship with my parents.
Emily, I just spent a week with my mom, plus my sister and our kids. We all live far from each other and being in close quarters for a lot of time all at once makes for some tension, but this was exactly what I needed today. Thank you so much for this. ❤️
Reading this at the end of a by-turns enjoyable and extremely stressful weekend trip with my parents...so I very much appreciate your balanced perspective here.
Over the course of years I can see growth in my parents and even some healing in their relationship with me and my sibling, but the day-to-day, with all the little wounds and irritations, is still a challenge. And yet, as you say, work worth doing.
Thank you for such a thoughtful reflection on honoring our parents. It is not talked about nearly enough! It’s something I struggle with a lot living far from my in-laws and with lots of mental health issues on their end that make a conventional relationship impossible. It’s complicated discerning how to care for them long-term with the limitations of living far away and the obligations of raising young children at the same time. I appreciate you talking about your frequent long road-trips with the kids to visit your families. It’s so difficult to think through the practicalities of sufficiently honoring & caring for them while still putting your husband & kids first.
My eyes teared up reading your piece on honoring your parents... so beautifully said, Emily. Both of my parents have passed, and I find myself missing them especially at this time of year, when they each hit major turning points in their health. Now I have masses said for them, and next week the sanctuary candle at church will burn in honor of their wedding anniversary.
TY for sharing. Great thoughts and perspectives to consider about honoring parents. Every age/stage of our adult relationship/s with our parents can be a blessing. Even the most difficult parents and difficult times.
Wow! That first topic... That one hit home. We have a "forced" Sunday dinner at my parents every single week since I had children. My oldest is now 23 (I am 50). She doesn't often join us anymore despite living at home because of the hurt that it causes every single week. We only live 3 miles from them. I tell myself that I am honoring them by showing up but this topic definitely gives me more to think about for both the way I treat and speak about my parents and for my children to think about in their relationship with us and their grandparents. Thank you.
“Maybe that’s another way we honor them: by not giving up, by praying and sacrificing and trying again and again and again to repair what has been broken.”
Oof… this has hit something inside me. It’s such a nuanced balance of acceptance of where and who they are… repair in the way that we want might not be possible. And that can add even more pain. But, we do keep going! And surrendering! And this might just be another (?) cross that we are to carry in order to follow our Lord.
Also, I’m always so so grateful for your adoption reflections, Emily! Thank you for such great insights and letting us enter into that very special part of your world. ❤️
Here to agree, like so many others, that the fourth commandment is so hard! Your nuanced approach is always so appreciated. I’m currently reading Children of Emotionally Immature parents- it’s been interesting. If you’ve read it, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Excellent book. The author is obviously not approaching the subject from a Catholic/Christian perspective, but I’ve found that when I implement her suggestions letting go of my “healing fantasies” and being an “objective observer” when I interact with my parents, I’m much more able to maintain my composure and obey the 4th commandment.
I appreciate your insight! I completely agree with you on the author’s perspective, and at points the “your emotional truth” come across as… liberal? But overall, the book does have some interesting takeaways that I’m interested in trying to implement as well. I’m grateful to hear they have been a help to you!
I have this book ready and waiting to go on my kindle, so it's great to see some positive recommendations of it. I'm really hoping it will help me achieve some peace and clarity, and a productive way forward, with my extremely difficult relationship with my parents.
I hope it will help you as much as it has helped me! It really was a missing puzzle piece that I desperately needed.
Emily, I just spent a week with my mom, plus my sister and our kids. We all live far from each other and being in close quarters for a lot of time all at once makes for some tension, but this was exactly what I needed today. Thank you so much for this. ❤️
Reading this at the end of a by-turns enjoyable and extremely stressful weekend trip with my parents...so I very much appreciate your balanced perspective here.
Over the course of years I can see growth in my parents and even some healing in their relationship with me and my sibling, but the day-to-day, with all the little wounds and irritations, is still a challenge. And yet, as you say, work worth doing.
Thank you for such a thoughtful reflection on honoring our parents. It is not talked about nearly enough! It’s something I struggle with a lot living far from my in-laws and with lots of mental health issues on their end that make a conventional relationship impossible. It’s complicated discerning how to care for them long-term with the limitations of living far away and the obligations of raising young children at the same time. I appreciate you talking about your frequent long road-trips with the kids to visit your families. It’s so difficult to think through the practicalities of sufficiently honoring & caring for them while still putting your husband & kids first.
My eyes teared up reading your piece on honoring your parents... so beautifully said, Emily. Both of my parents have passed, and I find myself missing them especially at this time of year, when they each hit major turning points in their health. Now I have masses said for them, and next week the sanctuary candle at church will burn in honor of their wedding anniversary.
TY for sharing. Great thoughts and perspectives to consider about honoring parents. Every age/stage of our adult relationship/s with our parents can be a blessing. Even the most difficult parents and difficult times.
Honoring parents - such an important topic!!
Wow! That first topic... That one hit home. We have a "forced" Sunday dinner at my parents every single week since I had children. My oldest is now 23 (I am 50). She doesn't often join us anymore despite living at home because of the hurt that it causes every single week. We only live 3 miles from them. I tell myself that I am honoring them by showing up but this topic definitely gives me more to think about for both the way I treat and speak about my parents and for my children to think about in their relationship with us and their grandparents. Thank you.