I’m one of 5 and growing up a lot of homeschooled families looked down on our family for not homeschooling. But our parents realized it wouldn’t work for us given our circumstances. 20 years later, a lot of those families’ children are no longer Catholic. My opinion is, it depends on the family’s circumstances (emotional, physical, and financial). It also depends on what works best for your family, especially the children, and that also can vary on child to child. I’m not married and therefore not a parent so I can’t say with certainty how I will have my children educated. However, I think the most important takeaway is that it’s dangerous to believe homeschooling will guarantee your children will go to heaven. I’ve known too many homeschooled kids who are no longer Catholic and public school kids who are devout Catholics for that to be true.
Yes, I am a big fan of homeschooling when it works. But I have also been around long enough to see that it doesn’t always bear the fruit parents hope it will bear.
I appreciate your nuance so much Emily. I am a big supporter of homeschooling, while also knowing that it's not the right choice for our family right now. And yet it is hard not to worry about that decision when surrounded online, and in some cases, in real life, by a "homeschooling is the only way" attitude. So I really appreciate reading your words today, thank you.
Yes, we are fortunate in that we have such a good option. That helps me not worry at all. If we didn’t have this option, we would be home schooling. It is the next best option for us to what we are doing.
"But guilt and fear are contagious. Kids are infected by those spirits, and that infection can stop the most important pieces of an education...from taking root in their souls."
//
This can be true even outside of homeschooling--my first teaching position was at a small Catholic Classical school, which had some truly beautiful educational practices...and also positioned itself as "the last safe haven" against woke ideology (ie. every public school). The resulting environment was toxic with fear and judgment against outsiders, a complete "us vs. them" mentality, where "them" included not just public schools but other local Catholic school that weren't doing things "the right way." The last year I spent there left me so drained, discouraged, and beaten down that it took me months to recover.
1000 percent. I focused on homeschooling because that was the question, but every word here could be applied to any form of schooling. Like I said, they all can be done well or badly. There is no such thing as a perfect school or perfect type of education. There can’t be when humans are involved!
For me, the goal as a teacher has become to find a Catholic school that is animated by a deep love for our faith but is also run by good, competent administrators and is also just...chill and normal. Fortunately, my current school ticks all the boxes.
We are homeschooling by necessity- it’s not always a choice.
Catholic high school is out of reach financially (and not ideal for our son’s academic needs) and the local public middle and then high school was pushing our youngest son into a gender transition. I wish I were joking or exaggerating but alas, no.
When our kids were smaller we also homeschooled for awhile by necessity because our oldest son is autistic and the special education system wasn’t a good fit.
Very much looking forwards to our younger son being able to do dual enrollment college classes in the fall. Right now we are patching things together with some online classes and in person enrichment classes. Less than ideal but he’s doing a lot better at home than he was at school. It’s not based on fear but the reality that our son was getting an unreasonable degree of pressure about his identity and ideological issues at our particular public school. We would have much preferred him to be able to go to high school in person, at least part-time but that just wasn’t possible.
I know, I admit that I struggle at times with resentment towards the local school district. I am sad that he has to miss out of the potential benefits of a high school community because of the fact that we live in a place where the schools can not be relied on unless you embrace extreme ideologies.
I work FT as well. Fortunately I work for the church and my job is pretty flexible and compatible with family life.
“Don’t make decisions out of fear and guilt.” I see this in many Catholic families- often homeschooling but sometimes not- where fear is the motivating factor. No one wants to live in that environment, and it often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy of what you are afraid of.
We do homeschool but recognize it’s not for everyone- not even always ideal for us! But we have discerned to keep doing it for now and want to have a joyful environment about it.
I have been wrestling with the homeschooling question for a while now but luckily have a year before I have to decide. A Catholic montessori school close to home sounds absolutely amazing. However, we do not have anything like this in our area. Catholic school is too expensive for us and I really struggle with public school. I am afraid of the material they are teaching my children and the use of laptops for school work. Any suggestions?
I totally get not wanting tech in the classroom. That was a big factor for us too. If I were you, I would research what homeschool co-ops are in your area. That can make the process a lot less daunting. I would also go talk to your Catholic school. So many are willing to work with families to lower the actual cost with assistance or know about tax credits than can help, but people just assume they can’t afford it and never approach them. Praying for you!
Thank you so much for this! Our only son at home is 10, and we're in our 50's. As an "only" child, I knew I wasn't the best teacher for him and socialization would be important (in the right environment). We're fortunate that we have a Catholic school 15 miles from us. He loves it, and it has been a perfect fit so far. St. Elizabeth Ann Seton, pray for us!
I’m one of 5 and growing up a lot of homeschooled families looked down on our family for not homeschooling. But our parents realized it wouldn’t work for us given our circumstances. 20 years later, a lot of those families’ children are no longer Catholic. My opinion is, it depends on the family’s circumstances (emotional, physical, and financial). It also depends on what works best for your family, especially the children, and that also can vary on child to child. I’m not married and therefore not a parent so I can’t say with certainty how I will have my children educated. However, I think the most important takeaway is that it’s dangerous to believe homeschooling will guarantee your children will go to heaven. I’ve known too many homeschooled kids who are no longer Catholic and public school kids who are devout Catholics for that to be true.
Yes, I am a big fan of homeschooling when it works. But I have also been around long enough to see that it doesn’t always bear the fruit parents hope it will bear.
This is beautifully handled, Emily, thank you!!
I appreciate your nuance so much Emily. I am a big supporter of homeschooling, while also knowing that it's not the right choice for our family right now. And yet it is hard not to worry about that decision when surrounded online, and in some cases, in real life, by a "homeschooling is the only way" attitude. So I really appreciate reading your words today, thank you.
Yes, we are fortunate in that we have such a good option. That helps me not worry at all. If we didn’t have this option, we would be home schooling. It is the next best option for us to what we are doing.
"But guilt and fear are contagious. Kids are infected by those spirits, and that infection can stop the most important pieces of an education...from taking root in their souls."
//
This can be true even outside of homeschooling--my first teaching position was at a small Catholic Classical school, which had some truly beautiful educational practices...and also positioned itself as "the last safe haven" against woke ideology (ie. every public school). The resulting environment was toxic with fear and judgment against outsiders, a complete "us vs. them" mentality, where "them" included not just public schools but other local Catholic school that weren't doing things "the right way." The last year I spent there left me so drained, discouraged, and beaten down that it took me months to recover.
1000 percent. I focused on homeschooling because that was the question, but every word here could be applied to any form of schooling. Like I said, they all can be done well or badly. There is no such thing as a perfect school or perfect type of education. There can’t be when humans are involved!
Yes, completely agreed!
For me, the goal as a teacher has become to find a Catholic school that is animated by a deep love for our faith but is also run by good, competent administrators and is also just...chill and normal. Fortunately, my current school ticks all the boxes.
We are homeschooling by necessity- it’s not always a choice.
Catholic high school is out of reach financially (and not ideal for our son’s academic needs) and the local public middle and then high school was pushing our youngest son into a gender transition. I wish I were joking or exaggerating but alas, no.
When our kids were smaller we also homeschooled for awhile by necessity because our oldest son is autistic and the special education system wasn’t a good fit.
Very much looking forwards to our younger son being able to do dual enrollment college classes in the fall. Right now we are patching things together with some online classes and in person enrichment classes. Less than ideal but he’s doing a lot better at home than he was at school. It’s not based on fear but the reality that our son was getting an unreasonable degree of pressure about his identity and ideological issues at our particular public school. We would have much preferred him to be able to go to high school in person, at least part-time but that just wasn’t possible.
And it sounds like that is why homeschooling was absolutely best for your family. Also, I am so sorry that you had to go through that as a family.
I know, I admit that I struggle at times with resentment towards the local school district. I am sad that he has to miss out of the potential benefits of a high school community because of the fact that we live in a place where the schools can not be relied on unless you embrace extreme ideologies.
I work FT as well. Fortunately I work for the church and my job is pretty flexible and compatible with family life.
“Don’t make decisions out of fear and guilt.” I see this in many Catholic families- often homeschooling but sometimes not- where fear is the motivating factor. No one wants to live in that environment, and it often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy of what you are afraid of.
We do homeschool but recognize it’s not for everyone- not even always ideal for us! But we have discerned to keep doing it for now and want to have a joyful environment about it.
I have been wrestling with the homeschooling question for a while now but luckily have a year before I have to decide. A Catholic montessori school close to home sounds absolutely amazing. However, we do not have anything like this in our area. Catholic school is too expensive for us and I really struggle with public school. I am afraid of the material they are teaching my children and the use of laptops for school work. Any suggestions?
I totally get not wanting tech in the classroom. That was a big factor for us too. If I were you, I would research what homeschool co-ops are in your area. That can make the process a lot less daunting. I would also go talk to your Catholic school. So many are willing to work with families to lower the actual cost with assistance or know about tax credits than can help, but people just assume they can’t afford it and never approach them. Praying for you!
Thank you so much for this! Our only son at home is 10, and we're in our 50's. As an "only" child, I knew I wasn't the best teacher for him and socialization would be important (in the right environment). We're fortunate that we have a Catholic school 15 miles from us. He loves it, and it has been a perfect fit so far. St. Elizabeth Ann Seton, pray for us!