My birthday is always in Lent (this year it’s on a Friday!) and my mom used to tell me it was okay if I relaxed my penance on my birthday- “Jesus’ birthday wasn’t in Lent and he probably planned it that way” ;) so I would log into facebook to reply “thanks” to the birthday messages if I had given up facebook (lol), or have a slice of cake even if I’d given up sweets. One year when my birthday was on a Friday we had a special birthday dinner of fish tacos! Especially for those of us whose birthday is always Lenten but rarely on Sunday, it is nice to have the perspective of “it is still okay to celebrate,” I think especially as kids are developing their moral foundations and senses of self.
I agree. My birthday in late February is Lenten in about 3/4 years and has fallen on Ash Wednesday a few times. One daughter’s birthday is the day after mine, and I have one son with a mid-March that’s always Lenten and another daughter with a mid-April birthday that’s Lenten probably 2/3 or 3/4 of the time, and her 18th birthday fell on Good Friday (it was also 2020, so the worst 18th birthday possible!). So we just learned to relax it (unless in the case of Ash Wednesday or Good Friday).
That sounds like a good balance of priorities! The bright side of an always-Lent birthday is that it is never on ash Wednesday or in Holy Week! Sounds like your family totally has it down.
How is there no fish fry in Steubenville???? This is shocking to me! We live in Los Angeles and I have vivid (positive) memories of fish fries from my childhood and have prioritized them for my kids and I am so so pleased that my kids get super excited tor Lent and know the schedule at our parish, and Nativity next door. The Knights at each parish know my kids and the old man who takes money wears a hat with a trout on it that flaps back and forth. There’s a 50/50 raffle to support seminarians. No one can rip these experiences from us ever even in the name of piety!
Thanks, Emily, for your Lenten encouragement. Though I'm a good deal older than you, I too am and "always will be an opinionated, redheaded choleric" (this year, my birthday falls on Good Friday!). Your wisdom gives me hope of getting to heaven and becoming a "redeemed, perfected" one.
VSM, I don’t know you but I find myself agreeing with your comments on The Pillar all the time. Nice to meet another opinionated redhead! I’m more a melancholic with choleric wing though. Lol
How nice to meet you, Grace! You sound like a kindred spirit -- I have a pronounced melancholic side as well, and struggle with balancing the two sides. Thanks for your comment about The Pillar; I sometimes feel quite alone there.
Emily, this newsletter was incredible! You covered so many things I’ve thought about over the years as well as so many I have not. In reading your answers to these, it occurred to me that you or another of your readers could offer me an insight on this tough question. We had this reading several Sundays ago:
“(Jesus) himself likewise shared the same things, so that through death he might destroy (the devil), and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by the fear of death…Because he himself was tested by what he suffered, he is able to help those who are being tested.” (Hebrews 2:14-15)
I have been one who has been in slavery to the fear of death for essentially my entire life. Sometimes it slides to the background, sometimes it’s kind of consuming, but always there. But if it’s Jesus’s job to take that away, what do I do? I guess I mean, how does waiting on the Lord, when you REALLY need healing, actually look?
That is such a good question and deserves way more time and thought than I have today. But I will be thinking about it and write something when we I can.
thanks so much for writing this! lent isn't so daunting to me this year because I'm not caught in a depressive episode, but I would love if one of your upcoming newsletters offers some insight on practicing lent with depression.
I always understood the Ash Wednesday & Good Friday fasting requirements to end at age 59, not 65 as you've stated. Which one is right? (I'm asking because I'm 63!!) God bless you for all the necessary and important work you're doing for the Kingdom of God.
Oh gosh, yes, my mistake. I’ll correct it.You are not required to fast, but if you can do it healthfully, it is still good to do. And abstinence is still required.
I just wrote and proofed a 7000 word email in less than three days, with three small children to care for, other deadlines that need met, laundry to do, people to feed, and sent it to everyone who follows me for free. I am just not going to catch every typo when I do this. It’s not humanly possible. Please be kind.
I do not think I was being unkind, that was not my intention. Just wanted to point that out in case you wanted to address the question about Desert Meals. Unless "desert fundraisers" was the typo, but I am not familiar with lenten dessert fundraisers, then that's my misunderstanding.
I think the dessert fundraisers are pretty common. At the fish frys we attend, at least, dessert is not included and instead sold at a separate table or booth with proceeds to benefit the Catholic school, a class trip, or something similar. I have never heard of Desert Meals to benefit seminarians. What is that?
Maybe it's just a local thing in Michigan. Various churches will host a Desert Meal during Lent (very simple meal, i.e. soup/salad) and raise money for seminarians to take a pilgrimage to the Holy Land.
It is very nice. The ones I have been to, a couple of the seminarians will come and speak to tell their discernment story, and it's really cool for the kids to see that the seminarians are "normal people" :)
My birthday is always in Lent (this year it’s on a Friday!) and my mom used to tell me it was okay if I relaxed my penance on my birthday- “Jesus’ birthday wasn’t in Lent and he probably planned it that way” ;) so I would log into facebook to reply “thanks” to the birthday messages if I had given up facebook (lol), or have a slice of cake even if I’d given up sweets. One year when my birthday was on a Friday we had a special birthday dinner of fish tacos! Especially for those of us whose birthday is always Lenten but rarely on Sunday, it is nice to have the perspective of “it is still okay to celebrate,” I think especially as kids are developing their moral foundations and senses of self.
I agree. My birthday in late February is Lenten in about 3/4 years and has fallen on Ash Wednesday a few times. One daughter’s birthday is the day after mine, and I have one son with a mid-March that’s always Lenten and another daughter with a mid-April birthday that’s Lenten probably 2/3 or 3/4 of the time, and her 18th birthday fell on Good Friday (it was also 2020, so the worst 18th birthday possible!). So we just learned to relax it (unless in the case of Ash Wednesday or Good Friday).
That sounds like a good balance of priorities! The bright side of an always-Lent birthday is that it is never on ash Wednesday or in Holy Week! Sounds like your family totally has it down.
Loved this! Its clarity and focus on the authentic meaning of Lent is beautiful. Thank you for writing it!
How is there no fish fry in Steubenville???? This is shocking to me! We live in Los Angeles and I have vivid (positive) memories of fish fries from my childhood and have prioritized them for my kids and I am so so pleased that my kids get super excited tor Lent and know the schedule at our parish, and Nativity next door. The Knights at each parish know my kids and the old man who takes money wears a hat with a trout on it that flaps back and forth. There’s a 50/50 raffle to support seminarians. No one can rip these experiences from us ever even in the name of piety!
How is there no fish fry in Steubenville is a question I have been asking for 20 years!
Waiting for our fish here in Weirton instead….
(We do alllll the other Lenten practices as well, please no one come at me for loving fish fries)
Thanks, Emily, for your Lenten encouragement. Though I'm a good deal older than you, I too am and "always will be an opinionated, redheaded choleric" (this year, my birthday falls on Good Friday!). Your wisdom gives me hope of getting to heaven and becoming a "redeemed, perfected" one.
VSM, I don’t know you but I find myself agreeing with your comments on The Pillar all the time. Nice to meet another opinionated redhead! I’m more a melancholic with choleric wing though. Lol
How nice to meet you, Grace! You sound like a kindred spirit -- I have a pronounced melancholic side as well, and struggle with balancing the two sides. Thanks for your comment about The Pillar; I sometimes feel quite alone there.
The comment section of The Pillar can get a bit Wild West-y! People are opinionated and they sure do hold fast to those opinions!
Emily, this newsletter was incredible! You covered so many things I’ve thought about over the years as well as so many I have not. In reading your answers to these, it occurred to me that you or another of your readers could offer me an insight on this tough question. We had this reading several Sundays ago:
“(Jesus) himself likewise shared the same things, so that through death he might destroy (the devil), and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by the fear of death…Because he himself was tested by what he suffered, he is able to help those who are being tested.” (Hebrews 2:14-15)
I have been one who has been in slavery to the fear of death for essentially my entire life. Sometimes it slides to the background, sometimes it’s kind of consuming, but always there. But if it’s Jesus’s job to take that away, what do I do? I guess I mean, how does waiting on the Lord, when you REALLY need healing, actually look?
That is such a good question and deserves way more time and thought than I have today. But I will be thinking about it and write something when we I can.
I appreciate that! It’s a puzzle to me because I’m not actually sure if it’s just being passive (while praying etc), or what.
thanks so much for writing this! lent isn't so daunting to me this year because I'm not caught in a depressive episode, but I would love if one of your upcoming newsletters offers some insight on practicing lent with depression.
all the best, Emily <3
I wish I had insight to give on that, but that really is out of my sphere of expertise. I am sorry. Glad you are doing well right now!
St. Paul Center doesn’t recognize the coupon code Emily20! I’m not sure if maybe it’s expired!
I always understood the Ash Wednesday & Good Friday fasting requirements to end at age 59, not 65 as you've stated. Which one is right? (I'm asking because I'm 63!!) God bless you for all the necessary and important work you're doing for the Kingdom of God.
Oh gosh, yes, my mistake. I’ll correct it.You are not required to fast, but if you can do it healthfully, it is still good to do. And abstinence is still required.
Thanks for clarifying!
I don't know if you are joking or not, but I think the question was about Desert Meal fundraisers for seminarians, not Desserts (one s not two).
I just wrote and proofed a 7000 word email in less than three days, with three small children to care for, other deadlines that need met, laundry to do, people to feed, and sent it to everyone who follows me for free. I am just not going to catch every typo when I do this. It’s not humanly possible. Please be kind.
I do not think I was being unkind, that was not my intention. Just wanted to point that out in case you wanted to address the question about Desert Meals. Unless "desert fundraisers" was the typo, but I am not familiar with lenten dessert fundraisers, then that's my misunderstanding.
I think the dessert fundraisers are pretty common. At the fish frys we attend, at least, dessert is not included and instead sold at a separate table or booth with proceeds to benefit the Catholic school, a class trip, or something similar. I have never heard of Desert Meals to benefit seminarians. What is that?
Maybe it's just a local thing in Michigan. Various churches will host a Desert Meal during Lent (very simple meal, i.e. soup/salad) and raise money for seminarians to take a pilgrimage to the Holy Land.
Wow that is cool. I hadn’t heard of it before but I like the idea.
It is very nice. The ones I have been to, a couple of the seminarians will come and speak to tell their discernment story, and it's really cool for the kids to see that the seminarians are "normal people" :)