(Take Two) IVF, Infertility, and Me
What You're Missing
Last time I shared an audio talk with full subscribers, I shared it below the paywall, so everyone could read the rest of the newsletter. Many of you, however, wanted a transcript, something only possible with a podcast. So, today, I tried sending out the newsletter and the talk as a podcast, together in the same newsletter. It didn’t work. Full Subscribers got everything—full talk and full newsletter. Free Subscribers got the preview of the talk, but only a paragraph of the newsletter. You live, you learn. So, I’m trying it again. Below is the full text of the newsletter. If you’re interested in hearing the whole talk, “IVF, Infertility, and Me: The Conversation the Pro-Life Community Needs to Have,” you can find the preview in your inbox and the full talk here. (And sorry for the multiple emails. Turns out there is no perfect way to do this. At least not that I have figured out.)
Yesterday, I fell into a Substack rabbit hole, and came across an essay which asserted that the pro-life community isn’t interested in saving lives. Rather, it claimed, the pro-life movement’s real interest is in controlling women’s bodies. As proof of this, the author pointed towards the widespread acceptance of In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). If protecting little lives from conception on were really a concern to pro-lifers, she argued, then they would be out there condemning IVF, not ignoring it, using it, or championing it.
She has a point. Not about the real intentions of the pro-life community. But about our consistency and our integrity, both of which are compromised through our relative silence on IVF.
Not everyone is silent, of course. The Catholic Church, the National Catholic Bioethics Center, and writers like Stephanie Gray Connors, Stacy Trasancos, and myself have all addressed it to varying degrees. Still. it’s not an issue at the forefront of the pro-life conversation.
But, it should be.
Last week, I headed up to Canada to explain why the pro-life community can no longer afford to turn a blind eye to IVF. It wasn’t my idea. The organizers of the Canadian March for Life asked me to tackle the topic as the keynote speaker at their Rose Dinner, the annual gala following their March for Life. At first, I was surprised by the invitation. In part, because I am not on the pro-life speaking circuit. I’m barely on any speaking circuit, having only just returned to occasional public speaking after a four year hiatus, while my children were babies.
But far more than that, I was surprised by the request because IVF is increasingly the third rail of pro-life conversations. Very few people want to touch it right now, especially when Protestants or more secular pro-lifers are in the room, virtual or otherwise. It is an emotionally charged topic. And the more common IVF becomes, the more charged it gets.
I was incredibly anxious before the talk. I joked that I would consider it a success if nobody walked out on me. But I did it. And nobody walked out. The response really was tremendous, and I am so grateful to Canada’s National Coalition for Life for the opportunity.
I’m also grateful to full subscribers to this newsletter, because without you, I never could have said yes to the invitation.
In the Catholic world, there are speakers who write and writers who speak. I am in the latter category. Which means I don’t just scribble out some notes on a piece of paper and then trust the Holy Spirit to inspire me. I don’t have that gift. My gift is writing. So, when I am asked to speak, I spend a great deal of time first writing out my talk, so that it says exactly what I believe needs to be said in the best possible way. I then spend just as much time learning the talk, so it sounds extemporaneous and not memorized or read when I deliver it. Between all this prep time and then the travel time, speaking is not a money-making venture for me. The dollar per hour cost is not in my favor. But I’ve started say yes to speaking more often, both because Chris and I have discerned it’s something God seems to be asking me to do and because your support of my writing here makes it financially possible for us.
Accordingly, whenever I write a new talk, I think it’s only right to share it with you, my full subscribers. The talk is paywalled, but I have included a generous preview for everyone else. If you’re not a full subscriber and want to hear the whole thing, I hope you’ll consider upgrading by clicking on the button below.
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Please also feel free to share it with anyone who needs to hear it. I really am grateful to every single one of you who makes my work and my apostolate possible. So, thank you, and I hope the talk is helpful.
Before you go, though…
Five Fast Things
The pope is more interesting than sex. At least, that’s what the stats on our most recent Visitation Sessions podcast, “Pope Fever,” tell us. This week’s episode on Pope Leo XIV was downloaded more times in 24 hours than any other Visitation Sessions episode, including our previous record holder “Let’s Talk About Sex,” with Monica and Renzo Ortega of
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The most terrifying, disturbing, and fascinating listen of the week (if you’re into that combination) is “How China Captured Apple,” an Honestly interview with Patrick McGee about his new book Apple in China: The Capture of the World’s Greatest Company. Folks, we are in so much trouble.
One of my all-time favorite Catholic businesses, The Little Rose Shop, is offering 15 percent off to my readers and listeners with the code Visitation15. We have so many of their products in this house, that you might mistake us for a Little Rose Outlet store. House favorites include their quiet Mass books (just make sure you have one for every child in your household under 6 if you plan on actually bringing them to Mass), their sweet saint dolls, and the very best cross back aprons around (I wear mine daily). Their products are beautiful and so well made that we haven’t yet managed to destroy a single Little Rose Shop item, which given my kids’ track record must be some kind of minor miracle. Anyhow, if you’re looking for gifts for the Catholic babies or families in your life (or for yourself), make sure to use the code Visitations15 at check out.
I loved this take on Pope Leo XIV from Fr. Thomas Joseph White (one of the original Hillbilly Thomists who now serves as rector of the Angelicum, in Rome).
Six out of six residents of Visitation House (the five Chapmans and our resident grad student), all gave two thumbs up to this easy weeknight Chicken Tagine recipe from The New York Times. I opted for chicken thighs instead of breasts (because they are both cheaper and tastier) and just used lemon zest instead of the preserved lemon (which neither Aldi’s nor Kroger carries). Served with rice and some roasted vegetables, it was just fantastic.
A Christmas Jubilee Pilgrimage—December 26-January 4
Last week, our Christmas pilgrimage to Rome sold out (we had room on the bus, but ran out of hotel rooms). Thankfully, however, the awesome tour operators at Select International managed to secure six more double rooms for us. Those opened up Monday afternoon. As of this morning, only two double rooms remain. So, if you have been waiting to sign up, I wouldn’t wait any longer. Right now, we have tons of families traveling with us, with little kids, big kids, and teens, as well as couples traveling sans kids, mothers and daughters, mothers and sons, single women, and young adults. It’s a great mix of ages and states in life, and you will absolutely fit in, whoever you are. Feel free to dm or email me with questions.
In Case You Missed It
“The Both/And Pope: On the Burden of Poping in the Age of Social Media” (Free for All)
“Rethinking the F Word: On Feminism” (Full Subscribers Only)
“The One We Lost: On Miscarriage and Adoption Loss” (Full Subscribers Only)
One more word before you go: If you’ve made it this far, my hope is you like this newsletter and read it regularly. If so (and you’re not already), I hope you’ll consider upgrading your subscription. No one likes paywalls, but this is my work, as well as my apostolate, and it is what keeps our family’s mortgage paid. For just $6 a month (or $60 a year), you’ll have access to everything I share here, as well as full access to the archives, the freedom to join in the conversation in the comments, first access to special events (like our pilgrimages), and other special projects I have planned for the remainder of the year, like my annual Advent Retreat. Thanks so much for considering it.
