Freemasonry, Hurtful Siblings, and Prayers About Hell

Weekly Notes

Happy Friday, friends! Unlike most of Instagram, I haven’t watched much of the Olympics this past week, as we have neither NBC nor Peacock. What I have watched, though, are dozens of YouTube videos of Stephen Nodoroscik on repeat. I have no regrets. All the kids online are talking about Brat girl summer and the Brat vibe and how Brat Kamala Harris is, but I’m pretty sure “Our Friend Steve” is the vibe we need right now. More joy. More surpises. More dorky obsessions. Who’s with me?

Sidenote: If you are not familiar with the song from that clip, do no—DO NOT—get curious and look it up. Especially if small children are around. The clip is great. The song is not.)

Not a sidenote: After a week of packing books in a room that is approximately 110 degrees, I have very little brain power left. But what I do have, I give to you in this newsletter. As Claire Swinarski likes to say, this newsletter is free for you to read, but it was not free for me to write. It takes many, many hours to write these newsletters (and many more hours to get all the links into them), so, if you’re already a full subscriber, thank you for valuing my time and work. If not, and you think it’s important to have faithful Catholic writing that recognizes nuance and strives to always remember that the Faith is lived by real people in real relationships in a beautiful, but complicated and struggling world, I have a button for you to click.

Question Box

Can you explain about Freemasonry and why it’s not allowed for Catholics?

I can try.

I know, for some of you, the Church’s condemnation of Freemasonry comes as a surprise. Most people today think of Freemasons as a charitable fraternal organization, where the men wear funny hats and raise money for hospitals. I mean, what could be wrong with that?

Nothing, of course, … if the Masons only wore funny hats and raised money for hospitals. But there is a lot more to being a Mason than that. From its inception (in the early eighteenth century, not ancient Mesopotamia as some like to pretend), Freemasonry has been categorically at odds with Christianity in general and Catholicism in particular. This is because every initiated Freemason swears to embrace and uphold beliefs that are incompatible with the Christian Faith and dangerous to their soul.  

At the top of this list is the oath they pledge to embrace religious indifferentism (that all religions are of equal value to one another, but of less value than Freemasonry). For the Freemason, it is adherence to the virtues of Masonry, not Christ, that saves. Which means that to embrace Freemasonry is to deny the necessity of Christ for salvation.

Also deeply problematic is that Freemasons must swear they will put the tenets of Freemasonry above the tenets of the Faith, prioritizing fraternity with Freemasons over communion with the Church.

Then, there is Freemasonry’s advocacy for radical secularism. Freemasonry holds that the Church should have no role whatsoever in civil society, including in the administration of any social services. In practice, this means they oppose church-run schools, hospitals, food banks, medical clinics, orphanages, youth centers, and more. It also means that, as an organization, Freemasons support legalized abortion and the re-envisioning of marriage as a civil contract. This particular support is longstanding, dating back to at least 1884 (Pope Leo XIII mentions it in his encyclical Humanum Genus).

The profound anti-Catholicism that permeates Freemasonry’s rituals and rites likewise contributes to the Church’s opposition. For example, in America, before a Mason can be initiated to the 30^th level, he must participate in a ritual where a senior Mason uses a knife to stab a skull that represents the pope, and the candidate being initiated must stomp on a replica of the papal tiara, all while yelling, “Down with the imposter.”

There also are the secrets—so many secrets. Before a person can even become a Freemason, they have to take a solemn oath to uphold the secrets of the Freemasons under pain of self-mutilation. This includes the secrets they don’t yet know. The oath is supposed to be made blindfolded, while kneeling in front of a Masonic altar. Immediately before the oath, the candidate is instructed to embrace the “principle of Freemasonry that the natural eye cannot perceive of the mysteries of the Order until the heart has embraced the deep spiritual and mystic meanings of those sublime mysteries,” an expectation which essentially puts Freemasonry in the same ballpark as the mystery cults and gnostic sects so prevalent in the first centuries after Christ.

Last but not completely least, Freemasons have been at the heart of destabilizing revolutionary movements, such as Italy’s Carbonari, which sought to break up the papal states and overthrow the pope. That certainly has not won them any love from the Church.

For all these reasons (and probably more), Catholics who join the Freemasons are not permitted to receive Holy Communion. Membership is considered gravely sinful. The Church has reiterated this in nearly two dozen papal documents and magisterial statements, with the most recent condemnation of Freemasonry coming from Pope Francis in 2023. The question of whether or not Catholics can ever be Freemasons has been raised repeatedly, including in light of appeals from Catholics who argue that their local Masons do nothing explicitly anti-Catholic. Despite those appeals, the Church has remained consistent in her condemnation, basing her teaching on the cult as a whole and correcting any cleric who mistakenly has advised Catholics otherwise. There is simply no wiggle room on this. You cannot be in communion with the Church and also a Mason.

I should add that there is a lot of talk on the Internet and in deliverance circles about so-called Masonic curses, which can be visited upon the descendants of Masons. Since not one of the many papal documents mentions these curses (and since they are theologically suspect at best), I wouldn’t give too much headspace to worrying about those. But, if you are a Mason who didn’t realize this or who wants to reconcile with the Church, it is important that you confess your membership and formally renounce it with the help of a priest. Likewise, if you have a close family member or ancestor who was a Mason, I would start praying for them immediately, including having Masses offered for them (I am a big fan of the Gregorian Masses for things like this).

Again, I know for those of you who have loved ones who are Masons, this isn’t easy to hear. And some men absolutely join the Masons without having a real understanding of who they are and what they believe. It’s also possible that lodges exist, where the men mostly drink and chat without ever thinking about the implications of the oaths they take and the rituals in which they participate. It may just strike them as funny, antiquated pageantry. But even if they don’t take their oaths seriously, Satan does. Their pledges of allegiance to the beliefs outlined above is serious business and something he will try to hold them to. Christ can and will help free Masons from their oaths, but first they have to want that help and seek it. So pray for the Masons you know, and don’t get involved with their work yourself.

If you want to read more on the topic, The Pillar’s Ed Condon is an expert on the Church’s relationship with Freemasonry and super reliable. You can read some of what he has to say in the following articles: “The Real Reason Catholics Can’t Be Free Masons” and “What’s the Problem with Freemasonry Anyway.”

Tan also published a book a while back called Why Catholics Cannot Be Masons, that is worth checking out.

What is our obligation to engage with a sibling who has hurt us deeply?

This is such a hard question to answer because people are different, relationships are different, and the hurt we experience within them is different. There is no one size fits all answer. Our response and our level of engagement will depend on a whole host of things, including the particular offense. For example, someone’s obligation to engage with a sibling who is petty and controlling is very different from someone’s obligation to engage with a sibling who abused their children.

That being said, as a Christian, your discernment about how to engage with estranged siblings (and anyone else who has hurt you) always needs to be rooted in the two same fundamental attitudes: love and forgiveness.

As a Christian, those are the obligations given to us directly from on high. We are commanded to love our enemy and forgive those who hurt us. How often we talk to those people, see those people, or help those people is a call that only we, with the help of trusted friends and family members, can make. Depending on the person and situation, the best course of action may be engaging with them a lot, a little, or not at all. I don’t know. But I do know, that as we discern that best course of action, we need to try to do that discerning from a place of love and forgiveness. In other words, we need to strive to see the person’s inherent dignity, want the very best for them despite all the hurt they’ve caused, and choose to not nurture feelings of anger and resentment, but rather to let those feelings go.

I know this is hard. I know it may seem impossible to feel anything other than loathing for someone who has hurt us deeply. I know we may feel they don’t deserve forgiveness. Jesus knows this, too. Jesus knows it’s hard to love our enemies. He also knows most of the people who need our forgiveness don’t deserve it. But He commands us to do both anyways. And He doesn’t just command it. He tells us that our fate in the life to come hinges upon us obeying those commandments. “If you love those who love you, what reward have you?” He asks in Matthew 5:46. “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father also will forgive you; but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses,” He then says Matthew 6:14-15.

In other words, there is no Heavenly reward for those who refuse to love and forgive their enemies. There is there is no salvation for us if we let hate and unforgiveness own a part of our souls. This is because there is no room in Heaven for those emotions. They cannot abide there. And if we insist upon clinging to them, we cannot abide there either. So, we must choose: hate and unforgiveness or salvation. If salvation is what we want, if we want everlasting joy and life with Christ and all His saints, then sooner or later, we need to let hate and unforgiveness go.

Starting sooner is better, but even if we start today, that doesn’t mean love and forgiveness will come in an instant. Believe me, I still have people I’m working hard to forgive. Also, don’t forget that we can’t do this work alone. We need God’s grace to do it. Every good act we do is made possible by His grace. We can do nothing good on our own, without His help, including this. But just the same, love and forgiveness do need to be the goal. Loving and forgiving needs to be an active undertaking on our part, where we beg God daily for the grace to love and forgive and consciously choose to reject feelings of hate and resentment. The will has to lead the way on this, regardless of how quickly emotions follow.

I know this isn’t the most practical advice. But the more you actively seek to love and forgive the person who hurt you, the more your actual practical discernment about how to best engage with them will be rooted in wisdom and truth. And that will have practical results. Your decisions might not be perfect. They might change with time. But decisions made out of charity and peace will always bear more fruit—for you and the person who hurt you—than decisions made out of bitterness and anger.

Is it required to pray the Fatima prayer? It seems scary for kids during a family Rosary.

For those of you who aren’t Catholic, the Fatima prayer is a short prayer that many Catholics include in their praying of the Rosary. You say it five times total: once at the end of every decade of the Rosary. The words are: “O My Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of hell, lead all souls to Heaven, especially those in most need of Thy mercy.”

Catholics began praying this prayer after the Blessed Virgin Mary appeared to three children at Fatima in 1917. It was her who gave them the prayer and asked that they recite it as part of praying the Rosary. It was quickly adopted as a pious custom by many of the faithful immediately after that.

Now, in answer to the first question, no, it is not required that you pray the prayer. It’s also not required for Catholics to believe that Mary actually appeared at Fatima or anywhere else for that matter. As I’ve written before, the Church does not ask or require that we believe in any apparitions of anyone other than those recorded in the Bible. After careful examination, she might recommend some for belief (like she does with Fatima), but she does not require it as an article of faith. Likewise, praying the Rosary is also not required. It’s a pious devotion with a rich and beautiful history, which can bear immeasurable spiritual fruits for us and the world (and I think anyone not praying it is depriving themselves of some very powerful graces), but still, no one is obliged to pray it. Praying the Rosary is not like going to Mass on Sunday. You don’t need to confess not praying it (unless you’ve made a private vow to do so). Same goes for the Fatima prayer. It’s a pious custom, which you can add to your Rosary or not, as you see fit.

All that being said, Chris and I both pray it individually and together, and we also always pray it at the end of our family decades (because a decade of the Rosary is about all our kids can manage at this point). None of our kids have found it frightening or disturbing thus far. I don’t think they even take it in completely. Probably because hell is not a big part of our catechesis or conversation. They know a little bit about hell—that it is where God sent the bad angels when they rebelled against Him and that people who choose to follow the devil go there when they die, too—but they know a lot more about Jesus, the Apostles, Mary, the saints, and how very much God loves them and wants them to live forever in Heaven with Him. Christ’s love, not fear of hell, is what takes up space in their hearts and minds.

My kids, however, are not your kids. If yours are particularly sensitive or struggle with anxiety about death, it’s perfectly fine to exclude the Fatima prayer from your Rosary right now. Or if you aren’t sure how they will handle it, you can try including it, then stop if it proves to be a problem. Every child is different, so you just need to make the best call for your family. At the same time, I don’t think you should assume that every child will automatically find it frightening. Hell is a reality. Its existence is an article of faith. And kids—who tend to have a strong sense of justice— can surprise us with their ability to take in that reality, especially when it’s presented to them in a matter-of-fact, no drama way, and in the much larger and more beautiful context of grace and God’s abiding love for us.

(And if you’re looking to understand the Rosary more deeply—what it is, why Catholics pray it, and what good it does, the Church has an encyclical on that and I have a study on the encyclical).

Five Things I’m Loving

1. Kate bribed us back into the attic for an emergency, mid-summer episode of Visitation Sessions because she had a burning desire to talk about the Ballerina Farm controversy. I did not have that same burning desire, but I love Kate, and trust her judgement, and we did end up having a great conversation about money and farming and social media and so many other things. I think this is because Hannah Neelman and her account have become something of a cultural touchstone, with people’s reactions to her and her husband saying a great deal about our culture. A lot more is going on than sourdough.

2. Last night we celebrated the many, many July birthdays in our little group of family and friends, and since I had already made my Carmel Cashew Ice Cream Cake twice in the last three weeks, I decided to make Ina Garten’s Mocha Ice Box Cake instead. Both are summertime, no-bake favorites and easy to make gluten free. Just sub in gluten free versions of the cookies, and you’re good to go.

3. If you have a little boy in your life, this fantastic little rocket launcher my friend gave Toby for his birthday, is a must have. Just make sure it stays outside.

4. I do not love this news story about people’s free-falling interest in having children, but it is important to read. There are plenty of people out there (like me) who aren’t bearing children because we can’t, but there are lots, lots more people choosing to not have children because they might have to give up their Soul Cycling classes or fly coach to Europe. This does not bode well for the future. (If you are under 55 and think you’ll ever see a dime of your Social Security, I’ve got a lovely bridge in Steubenville, I’d like to chat with you about buying.)

5. We hung one of our paintings in our back hall yesterday, and this has brought me at least 100 moments of delight already. Every time I pass through the back hall, I see it and smile. It’s just a little thing, hanging a picture on a wall, but in a house where so many rooms still feel unsettled and not entirely lived in, and more rooms remain untouched, as we work for the money to pay the painters to remediate the lead paint, a little thing like finally having a painting hanging in the hall is a wonderful consolation. It’s beautiful in and of itself. But it also gives me hope that this house will someday truly feel like our home.

That’s all for this week folks. I pray that you have a great weekend and, unlike me, either have central AC or are hanging out by a cool lake somewhere up North.

In Case You Missed It

The Still Point of the Turning World: Finding Christ in the Fire of Suffering (Full Subscribers Only)

Making Home: On the Redemption of the Ordinary (Full Subscribers Only)

Picky (Grown Up) Eaters, Saying No, Reading Books, and To Bury or Not To Bury