About the "Catholic Right's Celebrity Conversion Industrial Complex"

And the Rest of What Vanity Fair is Worried About

Tuesday night I was sitting in the dark, snuggling an almost sleeping Becket and perusing the Internet, when a notification from Apple News popped up on my phone, highlighting a new article from Vanity Fair. The title grabbed my attention, so I immediately clicked through and read the essay. About five seconds after I finished, I shared it on Instagram, a decision that my husband thought wrong. “Why would you share such a horrible article?” Chris asked after reading it.

I’ll tell you what I told him. I don’t think it was horrible. I don’t think it was good, but I don’t think it was horrible. Instead, I think it was a mix of truths, half-truths, and holes so big a cow could wander through them. I also think it was important. Again, not good. Important. I said as much when I shared it on Instagram, with the promise of writing more when I had the chance. Right now, I have the chance.

First, though, for those of you who have not yet read the essay, let me summarize it for you.

The headline of the article is clickbait at its finest, promising readers a look “Behind the Catholic Right’s Celebrity Conversion Industrial Complex.” The spirit of Dan Brown runs strong in whoever came up with that one. I hope they are paying him (or her) well.

Alas, the article never delivers on the promise of its title. As soon as you get beyond the headline, you discover what those of us who have spent five minutes working for the Church already knew: there are no albinos running through underground tunnels, luring unsuspecting celebrities to secret Latin Masses. We’re still too busy getting our parish webpages off Blogspot to do something as efficient and productive as launch an industrial complex of any kind, let alone a celebrity conversion one. More’s the pity.

So, if the essay isn’t about our imaginary convert assembly line, what is it about? That is a good question.

My husband said the article is an essay in search of a thesis. On one level, that’s true. The author covers a lot of ground, touching on Candace Owens’ recent conversion and emerging anti-Semitism; the growing popularity of chapel veils; Harrison Butker; the Latin Mass; MAGA Catholics; Jordan Peterson’s flirtation with Catholicism; Russel Brand’s affiliation with Hallow; the weakness of American bishops; Pope Francis’ struggles with traditionalists (and most Catholics at this point); Bishop Robert Barron’s interview with Shia LaBeouf; Matt Fradd’s questionable choice of podcast guests; the emergence of the Catholic Manosphere; and Nick Fuentes’ odious groyper movement. For good measure, it also throws in Leonard Leo, Steve Bannon, Archbishop Vigano, the Heritage Foundation, the Supreme Court, and Benedictine College. Even integralism gets a mention. Because why not?

Again, the essay covers a lot of ground. But there’s no straight line through that ground. It’s sort of, but not really about celebrity conversions. It’s also sort of, but not really about the resurgence of traditional piety and devotion. And it’s sort of but not really about MAGA Catholics and the alt-right. In the end, the story is sort of but not really about anything. It has a lot of pieces and players, but no clear point. There is only a vibe—a looming, threatening vibe, a vibe that leaves you feeling like the Church in America is becoming more political than religious, that it is getting itself entangled with the alt-right (and all the anti-Semitism, racism, and misogyny that entails), and that it can’t be trusted—that it is, in short, dangerous.

Which, of course, is the point. The vibe is the point. The vibe is what the author wants you to take away from the article. The whole narrative—what it includes, what it leaves out, what it conflates—is constructed to leave you feeling shocked, alarmed, and more than a bit fearful. This, in part, is why I think this article is important.

Generally speaking, I am not prone to doomsday predictions. But I do believe a greater persecution for the Church is coming sooner rather than later, and this article is something of a vanguard for that. Not in a coordinated conspiracy kind of way. But in a sign of the times kind of way.