“If I ever leave the Church, it won’t be because of what she teaches. It will be because of the people in the pews.”
I was scrolling Instagram last week, when those words, in bold print, flashed by in a meme. They were nothing new. Over the past twenty years, I’ve heard some variation of them more times than I can count.
“It’s not the Catholic Church, I have a problem with; it’s Catholics.” “The Church’s teachings have never hurt me, but Catholics sure have.” “I don’t find the Church’s teachings hard to follow, but I sure do find Catholics hard to be around.”
I know, sometimes, when some people speak those words, what they actually mean is that they don’t have a problem with abstract theological teachings, such as the Holy Trinity, but do have a problem with Catholics who hold to the Church’s less abstract teachings on marriage and sexuality. They say it’s the people they disagree with, but it is, in fact, the teachings.
I don’t want to talk about those people right now, though. I want to talk about those who have been genuinely hurt by the behavior of other Catholics: single mothers shunned by their fellow parishioners; families with lively children shamed by their priest; victims of abuse, who’ve suffered as much from negligent bishops and diocesan lawyers as they have from their abusers. I want to talk about everyone who has questioned their faith after a run in with the battle ax parish secretary, the shrewish Catholic school teacher, the gossipy room mother, the crabby widower, or the deacon who seems to care more about finances than he does about Jesus.
On one level, I understand why those people say things like, “If I leave the Church it won’t be because of her teachings, but because of her people.” None of us experience the Church in the abstract. We experience it in community. The community is what makes it real to us. It’s our lived experience of the faith. And it’s the most natural thing in the world to want that experience to reflect the fullness of the Gospel’s power. It’s also the most natural thing in the world to be hurt—devastated even—when it doesn’t. We don’t have to pretend to feel otherwise.
At the same time, we should not be shocked when other Catholics let us down. We should not be surprised when bishops stumble, priests fall, and our fellow parishioners disappoint. If we are, we have failed to understand the Church’s most fundamental teachings about sin, grace, and the nature of the Church.
So, let’s talk about those teachings, starting with sin.
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